Hello Dearest Love
by rabid kuma
Summary: Part II of "The Clock and The Storm." It becomes this moment in time where I slowly realize all of the things I’ve taken for granted, things I wish I could change, and people I wish I knew just a little better on the inside....


Some days, I always wanted to go outside. The teachers understood I liked the outdoors, not only because it brought me closer to that which calmed me, but because I had been locked away my entire life. The hardest part about knowing the things I do is knowing that no one else in the entire world will have experienced the horrors I have endured.

It almost seemed unfair to me that it was always the most fragile minds that became broken, useless before it was their time to expire.

Soubi was quietly sobbing next to me and I, myself, felt the aftermath of terror that was Illusion's lingering presence. I hated the feel of their powers, it felt like I was covered in crawling bugs or something equally as disgusting.

I sat back and my heart raced as I spoke. "Then I will go back to them with pride in my heart. If it saves Ritsuka, I will gladly give him to you forever." Soubi stared back at me and shook his head in disagreement. "Soubi, for once in my life I want to make my own decision. If this is the only way to save Ritsuka, then I will not hesitate."

His eyes glanced across mine, giving me the impression he was about to tell me that my decision was a bad one. "Don't say things like that so easily. What's to stop you from just giving me up to them as well?"

"Soubi, as Loveless, the pain and terror we feel is like love. I may be completely scared out of my mind, but if it is for Ritsuka, then I feel like I can do this." I stopped myself from continuing as my throat tightened and I felt the tears surface.

He pulled me into a tighter embrace and tangled his fingers in my hair. "Tokia, love is a complicated mixture of terror and happiness and fear, but I cannot let you sacrifice yourself. I will destroy them and there is no way they will live through tonight…."

"You have no sacrifice, how will you conquer?" I reminded him.

He smiled a little and chuckled. "Yoji will work just fine. I've never used another's sacrifice on purpose before though."

I gave him an encouraging expression. "Kana and Katsuya used me efficiently together. It's definitely a different kind of control, but you'll understand once you feel it."

"We need them to be here now, before more time is wasted," Soubi stood, brushing his pants off with his hands. I watched him take out his cell phone, mutter a few directions and return the device to its place, wondering what it was going to feel like to be mastered again by two powerful creatures.

Ritsuka may appear fragile and submissive to Soubi, but I saw the true potential to become Master underneath that façade. He would stand up for what he believed in, for the things he was willing to keep close. The kind of person Soubi would've been had he not been a Sentouki.

I reached out, touching Soubi's right leg as he lit another cigarette. "Ritsuka will dominate us when the time is right, Soubi. Do not worry about him, I have faith that he's more powerful than he lets on."

"He hides because he is afraid of the violence. There won't be any changing it soon. Ritsuka is stubborn sometimes."

I wanted to smile at his comment, since it was spoken in such an unemotional way, but it would have been inappropriate. I stood up and gave the man a hug, since he was obviously on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

"Could we call Sensei?"

"Ritsu will do nothing for us."

"He always talked about you like he was your father or something."

Soubi turned away with such an expression painfully taking over that I wished I could take it back.

"That man," Soubi whispered through clenched teeth, "doesn't feel anything for anyone for any reason. He is colder than the negative temperatures of the arctic. Human aspects like emotions are not evolved in things like him."

I hugged Soubi tighter yet and sighed. "Can you fight them with a clear mind, Soubi? They will use anything they can extract from your memories, good or bad. Are you prepared for that?"

"My parents have been dead since I was a child, Ritsu took my virginity at age 15, and Seimei took my will when I was 17. I'm 23 now and for the last three years I have been following this boy like my Master when I knew, _I knew_, you would show up at some point, and now that you're here, you are willing to let me keep what isn't mine."

I kissed his lips gently and lovingly. "Just remember the love, Soubi. They don't understand compassion or friendship. They understand greed and lust and gluttony. Love is out of their grasp of knowledge."

Soubi stared at me, then rested his forehead against mine. "This just isn't fair anymore, Kia. I feel like I'm always going to be doing this for him."

"Fighting for him?"

He shook his head. "No, I will always fight for Ritsuka. I just feel like I'll always be punished for loving Ritsuka."

I didn't have any words of encouragement for him this time. In a way, being in love was a punishment. You watch the person you love, and either you experience joy or you watch them slowly turn away and decay into something almost inhuman and bitter, just withering in its own existence of depression and anxiety.

I only turned away and whispered, "Where was that place we're meeting Natsuo and Yoji again?"

Natsuo and Yoji were sipping fresh coffee when Soubi and I arrived. I quickly explained to the Zero unit what had happened and then explained how to create a bond with Soubi to where they could use him. It was invigorating to hear the spells uttered, the rush and tingle over my skin as the spell settled into place.

Soubi ran his fingers along his own arms, an odd expression on his face. "This does feel different, like strings attached to a marionette. I don't like this at all…."

I didn't respond or react, instead reveling in the feel of the Zero's power. Every unit had their own special energy that gave them that boost. Usually it dealt with the name, but sometimes it was just pure, unrestricted power that they had never tapped into during battle. The Zero boys definitely had that power, and it would definitely be enough to push Kana and Katsuya over the edge.

Natsuo touched my shoulder, but just barely making contact. "Yoji and I appreciate this knowledge, Tokia. We won't just use it for our own twisted will, we will use it only in times where there is no other choice."

Soubi drew me into a hug and I finally let myself go. I could feel everyone in the room, every breath that passed in and out.

And I could feel Illusion, like a cold and clammy hand, reaching out of the darkness.

"We should head straight west from here," I said suddenly, turning completely around to face the opposite direction. "I can feel them."

Yoji and Natsuo shrugged, picking up their bags. Soubi gave me a questioning glance, but didn't ask out loud. I wanted to explain that sometimes I just knew things like that without much effort. I reached into my pocket and pulled out another pill. I did not want to give them even momentary lapse in my sanity, because every second was precious when fighting them.

We took the bus and followed the route almost to the edge of town and the rest of the gang followed me as I blindly led the way. I was going based off feeling, not actual directions. Kana and Katsuya were a constant presence I would always recognize.

I stopped a few hundred yards from what appeared to be an abandoned factory. It was probably condemned, since the glass was knocked out of all the windows and there were no doors on the exits. Soubi, Natsuo and Yoji all watched me with careful eyes as I turned around and squeezed my eyes shut to block out my old masters.

"Just be careful," I mumbled, opening my eyes once more. Soubi looked concerned, but Zero were emotionless in appearance.


End file.
